Dear TSA, I want to lodge a complaint

To whom it may concern with the TSA

I was catching a recent flight and trying to pass through the airport security checkpoint. As you may well know, passing through your checkpoint is akin to checking into jail.

I removed my shoes, my belt, and my wallet, as requested. I didn't make a big deal about it. I respect what you are doing. You are keeping me safe during my flight. The last thing I want to happen while I'm catching a short commuter flight to see my mom is that it get hijacked. The next thing I'd know is I end up in Iran or North Korea as a political pawn.

Anyhoo, the guy at the checkpoint pointed at me and motioned me over to the right. This was the line for the body scanner. I didn't really mind, because I'm thinking, no big deal, I have nothing to hide.

I stepped to my place in the body scanner. Some guy in a really stupid looking vest told me to raise my arms up. I was apprehensive. You see, in the last 6 months I've lost a ton of weight. No seriously, I lost like 40 pounds. So my waist went from a 42 to a 34. The belt which I gave up to go through the scanner was the only thing besides my hands holding my pants up. You can see my quandary. I held my hands up. My pants started falling down. I grabbed them as the scanner was swirling. The guy was like, "you need to STAY STILL AND HOLD YOUR ARMS UP." I apologized and held my arms up one again. The scanner swirled. My pants fell to me ankles. In the meantime, there were a line of travellers behind me which saw my fuckin dick and ass (I don't wear underwear).

FUCK THE TSA