Adventures in nursing

A few summers ago I did private duty nursing as a side job. This family I was working for was pretty fuckin fruity.

Their son gave me the feeling he was one of those people that might someday snap and kill his parents and then themselves. He just sat upstairs in his room all day and then when he came down he wouldn't say a fucking word, and just stared at me. Finally one day he came down and was looking at me so I said, "Hi! How's it going?" And smiled. And he said, "Ohh, good." And I realized why he doesn't talk because his voice sounds just like Mickey Mouse's. So he just kind of skulked around the house a lot when he wasn't in his room. I'm also about 99% he was using a penis pump two or three times a day because I kept hearing this vacuum cleaner sound come from his room intermittently.

The client's wife had this pilates workout machine, and one day she said, "Hey I'd like to get my husband on this thing to work his legs out." Then she proceeded to lie down and demonstrate how it worked. I was like, "Oh hey that's a good idea!" And then she strapped her feet into these stirrups and started doing all these crazy stretches and shit with her legs wide open and over her head and her ass up in the air and shit and she was saying, "Check it out, you can do all kinds of exercises with this!" And I was saying, "Uhhh I don't think he'd be able to do that..." And then she did all these other extreme stretching exercises that would snap me in half. She was saying, "Hey come over here and check out the springs for the tension" But it was right in front of her spread legs so I was like, "Oh I can see it from over here." And I wished she'd stop.