Coconut

 

So you went to the store and you bought yourself a motherfuckin coconut. Good job! But the question remains, how to open it? Do you have a trash or grocery bag? Put that stupid coconut in that bag and go outside, and beat the fuck out of the ground with that goddamn fuckin coconut while its inside the bag. The coconut juice is gonna go flying everywhere, and your neighbors are going to think you're crazy as fuck, but they're the ones missing out on delicious fresh coconut goodness. Actually, the inside of a coconut tastes like fucking bland shit. How do they get it to taste so good in cookies though? Simple, they add sugar. So put some sugar on your coconut. And now you're eatin a coconut like a pro. Good work. Tune in next week for another edition!