Worst Christmas Songs

Nonstop Christmas music this month makes my life a living hell.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Santa Clause is Coming to Town. Bruce laid a lump of coal singing this garbage.. I bet it was pretty awesome live, but the song is sloppily performed. In fact, Bruce sounds like a he's fuckin drunk while he's singing it. Why do radio stations have to play it 5,000 times every December?




2. Elmo & Patsy - Santa got Run over by a Reindeer. You all have heard this. Now try and forget it. You won't, but try anyway.




3. Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmas Time. Oh great, Paul McCartney got a synthesizer for Christmas! Even McCartney himself has been renouncing this crapfest as garbage, but according to sources he earns $400,000 a year in royalties from it.




4. Band Aid - Do They Even Know Its Christmas?; This song should be retitled as; "When good intentions go bad." Written by Bob Geldhof. This song was written and recorded in a 24 hour period. Starring; Simon Le Bon, Boy George, George Michael, Kool and the Gang, Sting, Bono Phil Collins,Jody Watley, and Bananarama. According to a journalist that attended, "Once Status Quo produced their bag of cocaine and the booze started to flow – I brought six bottles of wine from my flat, which disappeared in a minute – it became a party." So this record is basically a bunch of rich rock stars, high as shit, complaining about hungry Ethiopians .




5. New Kids on the Block - Merry Merry Christmas. If y'all want some crackheads, listen to Marilyn Manson (who sucks too), and if you want wuss rock listen to Maroon 5. There is no such thing as the best of both worlds. Ok that really has nothing to do with NKOTB's Christmas Album, but I can't really say much about it. It just makes me cringe.




6. John Denver - Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas; What a depressing ass song. Just read the lyrics.




7. Newsong - Christmas Shoes. This was actually made into a TV movie starring Rob Lowe. This is just the sappiest shitty Christmas song I've ever heard. Everytime it comes on I am forced to dip a cotton swab in hydrogen peroxide and stick it in my ears, then spray mace into my own eyes.