How to cook a turkey

Well its Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd go ahead and write out my step by step guide in case you forgot how to cook a turkey.

Step 1. Go to the store and buy a turkey. Walmart is the only place open today, so hopefully you like shit thats been deep frozen for god knows how long.

Step 2. Put some spices on that shit! Put the turkey in the oven for a couple hours.

Step 3. Take the turkey out of the oven. Cut it up, eat it!