Ramen Noodles

Now if you had just started smoking crack, you wouldn't need to eat. Fortunately for your lazy ass, some japanese dude invented ramen noodles! In honor of ramen noodles, I'll be discussing different ways to prepare these devilishly delicious motherfuckers.

If ramen noodles are a part of your normal diet, go get your ass a bottle of multivitamins. I'm just saying this because you probably eat a lot of shitty food anyways.

Here's some tried and true ramen recipes. Now you're probably thinking, why the fuck would you want a ramen recipe for? Well, because, after the 10 millionth time you've ate regular old ramens they get a little goddamned boring now don't they?


Ramens with egg.

• 1 egg
• 1 package ramens.

When you go to add the ramens to the boiling water, bust open an egg and toss that bitch in there.


Overcooked ramens.

• 1 package ramens.
• some soy sauce

Put the powder in the water before anything else. Add the ramens and cook those little motherfucks waaay past the recommended time. Cook them until the water boils off and the noodles have absorbed all the flavoring. Add a few dashes of soy and stir fry for a little while.


Ghettoass Gumbo

• 1 can Red kidney beans
• 1 can whole kernel corn
• 1 package ramens

Cook the ramen noodles, heat up the corn & beans, mix them all together. Voila.
Voila. Ghetto gumbo.


Microwaved ramens n cheese

• 2 packages of ramens
• 1 slice of cheese
• some soy sauce

Put the 2 packets of ramen in a bowl of water. Microwave for about 5 minutes. Pour out most of the water. add the slice of cheese on top and wait for it to melt. Add the flavor pack to the ramens. Add soy sauce. Eat it.


Baseball Bat Ramens

• 1 package of ramens.
• 1 fist full of shredded mozarella
• 1 hot dog

Before you open the bag of noodles, beat the hell out of it so they're in much smaller pieces. Put that in a bowl and add just enough water to reach the top of the noodles. Add only one third to one half of the seasoning packet, stir it up, and microwave it for four minutes. Add the fistful of mozzarella cheese and the cut up hot dog. Solid meal.


Ramens Noodle Soup

• 1 package ramens
• 1 can chicken
• some salt
• 1 stalk Celery

Use the whole can of that chicken shit. It sits in water just like tuna, so you need to drain that. Drain the chicken water into the water that you're going to boil for the noodles. Instant better flavor. Cook the noodles in that. Add the whole seasoning packet as normal. Mash the chicken up a little with a fork or the spoon you're going to use so it's a little more like shredded chicken than chunks. It will taste a little too plain with just the seasoning packet now though, so you need to add more to it. Just add some more salt. Chop up the celery and throw that in raw if you like crunchy. Boil the celery with the noodles if you don't.


Lyn's Ramens (courtesy of @lyniec via twitter)

• 2-3 packages cooked and drained Ramen  noodles
• 1 lb. browned hot pork sausage
• 1 diced onion (or green chilis)

Cook and drain the Ramen noodles. Brown the hot pork sausage with the onion and drain. Mix together.


Mama Mia! Ramens (courtesy of @PinnHeadLarry via twitter)

• 1 package Ramen noodles
• 1 tbsp tomato sauce
• handful of spinach

Cook and drain the ramen noodles. Add tomato sauce. You can either cook the spinach or add it fresh. 


The Broke Vegan (courtesy of @PinnHeadLarry via twitter)

• 1 package Ramen noodles
• Hot sauce to taste
• mixed vegetables 

Boil mixed vegetables with ramen noodles. Add hot sauce to taste.